Where are all the girls who have an interest in sex but aren't total sluts?

I know that this observation is probably due mostly to my relatively limited experience, but at this point I'm too lazy and inconsiderate to be politically correct.

It frustrates me to no end that there seem to be two major types of women in this culture: The ones who've been wrangled by there mothers for the majority of their upbringing and are therefore prim and proper ladies—with the sexual maturity/imagination of 13 year olds—who pursue careers, travel and bring a lot more to a relationship as a result. The flip-side are those who've abandoned their uptight mother-endorsed persona because maybe they were blessed with big tits at an early age and realized how far their body could take them, leaving them with the intelligence and maturity of a 13 year old.

I know I'm generalizing here quite a bit, but is it too much to ask for a girl who isn't a complete idiot who also hasn't dismissed sex as being unfitting? How the fuck is anyone supposed to have a successful relationship when men and women are brought up to be even more different than they already are thanks to severe gender role distinctions.

It's ok for a man to have this interest in sex but not for a woman. Well, what then happens when they get together?

Dr Gabrielle Hoff

This past Saturday, Dr Gabrielle Hoff was a guest on the Sex With Emily radio talk show. She was talking about introducing "erotic powerplay" into your relationship, among other things. This wasn't the first time I had heard about Dr Hoff, but after hearing the podcast I decided to take a look at her website and found it to be quite informative and interesting. She has video podcasts in which she discusses BDSM play and fetish in the context of relationships. She has a way of making these topics feel very approachable and friendly, so if you're interested in broadening your sexual repertoire but are not sure where to start or if you want to get over an irrational fear of vacuum beds and people who wear leather hoods for fun, I would recommend her videos.

Update: No time to update

Hi.

A lot going on right now. Haven't had much time to do anything recently.

Read an interesting article on newscentist recently (errrr...3 weeks ago), discussing the likelihood of sexuals—those of us who reproduce by meeting for coffee errrr I mean by having sexual intercourse or exchanging genetic material by some method—being driven to extinction by people with the ability to reproduce through cloning, and it got me thinking about how different our culture would be if we weren't all on a perpetual quest to get laid. How much our world would change.

Think about it. I don't have time.

[Air] Sex in Japan

I like the reaction from the women:

"It was disgusting. They haven't a clue what women want."

lol

Marriage Hunting Bra

I'm not sure what to make of this. Obviously it's making a lot of people point and laugh at Japan for creating something so ridiculous, but it's also important to note that this is not a product being sold to the public. It was created for an event.

I'd like to believe that this was an attempt to make a statement about the overly marriage-centric culture in Japan that seems to permeate the notion that if you're a woman and you're not married by age 30 then something is wrong with you—like, you have a career—but I have my doubts.

Basically, there's a countdown that the wearer can set for when she would like to be married by, and a slot to insert an engagement ring. Once the ring is inserted, it plays the traditional "here comes the bride" wedding song. There are also two pockets containing a pen and a seal in order to be able to complete the marriage registration ASAP—I guess in case she's running low on time. Though I'm not sure what happens if the timer reaches zero before the wearer finds a husband.

And those two big detachable hearts are. . . pot holders?

Back from the "Lovezone" (edited--now 50% more sober)

The relationships, or marriages, that people find themselves locked into for years and sometimes decades, can be really depressing. Although I can't predict the course of my own relationship, I'd like to believe that I've taken the right steps in avoiding a sexless future with a woman in whom I have only a fading interest.

This is a part of our culture that needs some attention. Because we mostly get two images crammed through our eye-sockets from cradle to grave: two people fall in-love, get married, and then the implied happily ever after; the second is a glimpse at a miserably apathetic couple in a dull routine of a marriage.

Both scenarios are equally ludicrous and, worse still, damaging because they promote a passive attitude towards marriage. They give the impression that the only thing you need to do is find a partner and the rest will play itself out. Because marriage is such a natural thing it couldn't possibly require any more effort than talking away the occasional problems. Oh, and misery? That's just a natural part of that union.

The truth is that marriage along with monogamous relationships in general require plenty of effort, flexibility, and a degree of balanced compromise on the part of both partners to an extent that our culture has failed to acknowledge. And without those things, they do not work. And people should not tolerate these kinds of relationships.

We all know that misery is part of life. But if your relationship is causing you to be miserable, changes need to happen. Monogamy is not going to work for everyone, all the time; Missionary-position sex is not going to work for everyone, all the time; Living under the same roof as husband and wife is not always the ideal situation for all married couples. And by adhering to the established relationship conventions, we may be setting ourselves up for problems down the line.

More thought and discussion needs to be put into the arrangements of a partnership. And in order for that to happen, we need the permission from our culture to make these adjustments and still feel like we're living a normal life.

Sex in Japan : Public Displays of Affection : An Anecdote

I was sitting on the train at the station, waiting anxiously to get home from a long day at work so that I could take a shower and wash away all the crap flung (literal and figurative meanings apply) at me from small children, when I noticed a man and woman saying good bye outside of the train. They looked to be in their mid-thirties and were quite obviously in love.

For anyone living in a place where couples lie on the beach with their tongues down each other's throat, you probably either take these displays of affection for granted or you shield your kids' eyes as you hurry them along towards more G-rated territory. I should point out that while the degrees of difference of public indecency between a kiss goodbye and a make out session on the beach are a matter of opinion, there're both examples of people showing their affection for each other.

Love in Japan is a lot more difficult to spot in public (especially for me because I'm just a stupid foreigner). But it can really affect your general mood and outlook to be surrounded by mostly stone-faced people hurrying to and from work and school. It's not even common to see parents hugging their kids. Which is not to suggest that they don't. They do. They just don't do it in public. Though this really isn't about Japan. It's about me and my recent trip to Australia where I was reminded of what affection looks like—or at least what it looks like to me: People smiling and hugging in public, and, yes, the occasional act that borders on what some would define as sex.

Back in Japan, the woman had now boarded the train. The man stood outside the closing doors across from her, waving and smiling like a giddy 4 year-old. The woman waved and laughed, seeming a little embarrassed by the attention. As the train began to pull away from the station, he ran alongside it, waving to her for as long as he could until he reached the edge of the platform.