The Good News

Everyone should masturbate. I could end there without qualifying that, and you could spend the time you would have reading this masturbating instead. But I feel like it might be a bit more convincing if I get into some of the not well known benefits of masturbation, since the list is long and impressive and, wouldn't cha' know it, not really featured in bus ad-space or covered on the evening news. I know, what gives? Right?

I know this must seem pretty obvious for those out there who masturbate all the time: It feels good. What more of an incentive do you need? However, for some women, masturbation might be mostly considered a male pass-time, and something dirty, embarrassing, or shameful to do themselves. We still live in a somewhat sex-negative, masturbation-negative culture that downplays, or sometimes even discourages women to aggressively pursue their own sexual satisfaction—be it with a partner or on their own terms.

The idea that sex has an image problem in our culture is not really something that seems to garner much attention. And while other aspects of gender equality are more openly addressed and discussed, many aspects of sexuality continue to saunter behind in the shadows. The female identity, more-so than the male's, makes it less appropriate or acceptable for women to wear their sexuality on their sleeve the way that men often will. And considering the negativity surrounding female sexuality, there is more at risk for women who do. All this is not to say that male sexuality is at the peak of sexual freedom—eating it's sex cupcakes from the navels of dominatrix mermaids off the coast of hand-job island.

Studies have found sex and general good health to be linked. While in these particular studies it was not clear whether healthier people have more sex, or whether the sex contributed to their overall health, other studies have noted health benefits—for people who engage in sex, either by themselves or with a partner, at least once or twice a week—such as: strengthening of the cardiovascular, endocrine (responsible for the release of hormones) and immune systems; reduced stress; contributes to a more youthful appearance; longer life span; increased blood flow to the organs promoting fresh oxygen and the production hormones, such as estrogen and testosterone, while removing toxins; orgasm reduces LDL cholesterol (the bad kind); etc.. For men specifically, it reduces the risk of prostate cancer. For women, it maintains vaginal elasticity and lubricity. And these are just the physiological benefits.

A big part of masturbation is learning how you function sexually so you can communicate this to a partner later on. It's an opportunity to be alone and fantasize about pirates, or your attractive pharmacist, or just plain old vanilla anal sex—whatever might pop into your head and make you run to the nearest public washroom for some alone-time. You can't really expect to have great sex without being aware of the key components (yours and your partners'). Meaning, how you like being touched and what sort of fantasies turn you on. Masturbating together is a good way to accomplish part of that (talking would be the way to accomplish the other part).

So ultimately, masturbation improves health; your sex life, and by extension, your relationship or your marriage; your mood, which means you smile more and you're kinder to the people you cross paths with each day. So I think it's not so outlandish to conclude that if everyone masturbated, the world would be a better place. So now you have no more excuses.